Happy Thanksgiving!

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Step Right Up...

[Click on the image for a closer look.]

The Proper Care and Feeding of Moonbats

While we recover from a bout of writer's block, please enjoy this piece of nostalgia from Mr. Right's Greatest Hits collection...

It has come to our attention here at America is an Obamanation that many people foolishly plan to purchase moonbats as pets for themselves or their children during this holiday season. While the appeal of keeping these hideously ugly, ill-tempered, high-pitched screeching wonders of nature as housepets truly eludes us, we hope to perform a public service by presenting these helpful tips for caring for your new pet, courtesy of the world's foremost moonbat expert, Dr. Wayne Bruce:


The Responsible Pet Owner

The first, most important thing for all responsible moonbat owners to do is to have their pets spayed or neutered immediately to help control the moonbat population. This is especially important during election cycles, as they tend to go into heat at such times. Attempts to increase their numbers can be loud, obnoxious and quite dangerous to civilized societies. Remember, the world has more than enough moonbats already, so be responsible and help us to keep their numbers in check.

A Brief History of the Moonbat in the Wild

The common moonbat, or vespertilio lunaris, was first catalogued as a species during the 1960s, when it was found primarily in large, colorful, and quite smelly colonies on or near college campuses across the United States. Sometimes referred to as "Hippies", they also frequently migrated in large numbers to various fields and stadiums, usually drawn by the lure of psychedelic rock music or very bad folk singing and the smell of burning rope. Though their numbers have dwindled somewhat since then, they are, unfortunately for society, not yet ready for the endangered species list. Over the years, they have shifted from nesting inside college dorms to faculty lounges and the studios of many mass media outlets with alarming ease. Many have even found their way into government offices, where they can be especially dangerous and hard to get rid of! Attempts to control the moonbat population have met with only moderate success, but many moonbats will surprisingly enough, with time, evolve into something resembling a human being. Unfortunately, though, many do not manage this metamorphosis, and these are what we sometimes call "Deaniacs", "KOSsacks", "DUmmies", or more simply, "Fruitcakes".

The Moonbat as a Housepet

While keeping moonbats as pets is never recommended due to their volatile tempers and generally sociopathic behavior, some people have found them so fascinating as to want to while away the hours watching their wild, unpredictably goofy antics up close. Since we can not prevent people from making the terrible mistake of bringing a moonbat into the home, and since some human children occasionally devolve into moonbats while away at college after being bitten by a particularly rabid one, we offer this guide as a public service to help you in dealing properly with your new pet.

Housing Your Moonbat

Being cold-blooded and not very bright by nature, the captive moonbat will typically prefer to dwell somewhere dark, cool and damp, such as a dimly lit basement or attic, a filthy bedroom, or a room above the family garage. The faint odor of incense or scented candles is often detectable near a moonbat's nest, and they will usually horde such things. It is highly recommended that a responsible owner encourage the regular use of such objects to drown out the stench usually associated with the creatures, whose hygiene habits can best be described as deplorable!

Provide your moonbat with plenty of aluminum foil with which to line his nest and encase his cranium, as this will ease his irrational fear of Karl Rove's "mind-ray". He may occasionally playfully attempt to wrap the heads of other family members in tinfoil as well. This behavior, though seemingly odd, is quite harmless and a sign of great affection, so play along once in awhile to make your moonbat feel loved and accepted.

Your moonbat will need access to the Internet so he can vent his pent-up anger and feed his insatiable need for outrageous conspiracy theories and anti-Bush rhetoric, so be certain to provide him with a computer and a modem connection. He will happily spend hour after hour at such mind-boggling, psychotic websites as Democratic Underground, Daily Kos, The Huffington Post, Indymedia, MoveOn.org, Eschaton, Oliver Willis and Pandagon, blaming President Bush for everything from tsunamis to global warming on Mars. It is this very behavior that makes moonbats so entertaining and has caused such an explosion in their popularity as housepets --- but be warned, if left unchecked, your moonbat can easily become "net addicted" and spend every waking moment on the computer, trolling Republican-friendly websites and calling everyone he finds a Nazi. Some have even taken to hacking websites of people they don't find agreeable and calling milbloggers baby-killers. If your moonbat begins to demonstrate this sort of ultra-aggressive behavior, his computer privileges must be revoked and, as difficult as it may be, it would probably be best for everybody if he were humanely put down.

Moonbat Diets

Many moonbats are herbivores, reacting angrily at the sight of meat, fish or dairy products. They can exist happily on granola, fresh fruits and vegetables, twigs, tofu, diet soda, Evian and yogurt. For other moonbats, you may need to provide an extensive array of snack foods such as Hostess snack cakes or anything ending in -itos! They also frequently enjoy Triple Mocha Latte Cappuccinos from Starbucks, but these can be rather expensive. Often, moonbats also liberally use tobacco products and may smoke funny little herbs that resemble oregano. It is recommended, however, that you discourage this last behavior, as it leads to binge snacking and nonsensical babbling --- that is to say, more than usual. Many also crave copious amounts of alcohol, but this is also considered dangerous and should not be permitted.

The most important staple of any moonbat's diet, though, is Kool-Aid --- and lots of it! Lacking self-control, they will usually drink all the Kool-Aid they can find, so it is wise to ration it to keep them from overdosing. A pitcher or two a day should suffice, and alternating flavors for the sake of variety is always a nice gesture.

Mating Rituals

The unfixed moonbat will typically try to reproduce when in heat, mostly during election cycles, and often by attempting to bite, and thereby infect, healthy human beings. They may also attempt to obtain a member of the opposite sex for brainwashing and/or breeding purposes, often bathing themselves liberally in Patchouli oil in a misguided attempt to attract a mate. They are rarely successful at the second method, thankfully, as they usually refuse to bathe, brush their teeth, shave any part of their anatomy, or get a haircut. The bite of a rabid moonbat in heat, while rarely fatal, can manage to infect the weak-minded and it is for this reason that we ask you to be responsible and spay or neuter your moonbat immediately!

The mating call of the lovesick moonbat is easily recognizable, as it is typically characterized by such phrases as, "No blood for oil"; "Bush lied, kids died"; "We support our troops... when they shoot their officers"; "Selected not elected"; "Bush is a Nazi"; and "Make love, not war". They will sometimes paint these phrases, rife with misspellings and images of swastikas and President Bush with a little black Hitler mustache, on cardboard signs and gather together to wave them and chant at passers-by and the occasional TV camera. They are best ignored at such times, as attention will only encourage the behavior.

Health and Well-Being

It is important to remember never to taunt or tease your moonbat. If he prefers to dwell in a parallel universe where Al Gore or John Kerry is President and/or all Republicans have been removed from office in a mass impeachment, it is best not to remind him of reality with harsh statements of fact such as, "Get over it, Bush won!" Such statements have been known to cause moonbats to attack viciously. Facts and logic are particularly harmful to moonbats, and must be avoided when interacting with your pet.

The cardinal rule with moonbats is that one must never, ever encourage them to vote or to seek to dwell in a government building, as this would be dangerous to the continued well-being of society! Too many moonbats are already loose in American government at all levels, and it will already take us years to fumigate them all!

Thank you and enjoy your new pet!

Dr. Wayne Bruce, DVM
Chief Moonbatologist
American Veterinary Center for the Study of Common Household Pests and Other Useless Vermin

********************

Originally posted at The Right Place on January 1, 2006.

The Halloween 2009 Cavalcade of Horror!

[Click on any of the images in this post for the full size versions.]

Our Halloween Film Festival of classic horror flicks begins by paying homage to a true giant in the Washington horror industry for many decades whom we tragically lost earlier this year:



But for every great star lost, a new star is born! Presenting the awe-inspiring debut of the most talked about new member of the Washingwood glitterati, the pride of Orlando, Florida... Democrat Congressman Alan Grayson:



And now for the rest of our creature features, each one more terrifying than the last and guaranteed to make your skin crawl... and the liberal media's extremities tingle! Enjoy them all... if you dare! Muwahahahaha!!!:













Goodnight, America. Sweet dreams... Muwahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Best New Peace Artist

Inspired by a comment by Rob Banks in a post by Gregory of Yardale at Moonbattery.

UPDATE:

Howie from The Jawa Report wants to help Obama win the Heisman Trophy! Quick, somebody call ACORN, we can use their help on this one!

Ace is on the case, too!

UPDATE II:

Frank J. of IMAO believes he knows the real reason Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize!

Meanwhile, also at IMAO, Harvey has some suggestions for the 2010 Peace Prize Nominees.

UPDATE III:

What the hell, why not? From Cuffy Meigs, Obama wins... everything!!!



UPDATE IV:

Ace and Slublog offer lots more Obama trophy photos! Way to go, O!

Leadership...

Make your own motivational poster HERE

The New Tsar Wars Action Figures Are Here!

Obami comes complete with his Lie-Saber:



The Queen's package includes sewing patterns for making new ensembles for her from your drapes, bedspreads and couch covers:



And then there's Joe-Jar who comes with nothing, not even a clue:



Collect 'em all!

Captioning fun for the photo session that inspired the above can be found at:

IMAO
Caption This!
Wizbang

Also, make sure to check out Jim Treacher's take on it, too.

Good to the Last Drop...

h/t Moonbattery

9/11

Didn't feeling like being silly today. Something appropriate HERE.

Meet "Fred"

I have just posted what might be my "grand finale" post over at IMAO, which features my first-ever YouTube movie!

Check it out:



[For more, click on over to IMAO.]

The President Addresses Congress on Health Care

Moonbat Martyrdom and the Maxed Out Race Card

Look what that sick cracker Mr. Right just posted over at The Right Place and IMAO:

As with any religion, Moonbattery has its share of martyrs.

The Fastest way to martyrdom in the Church of Moonbattery is to be exposed to the world at large as the left-wing fringe lunatic you are and to, as a direct result of such exposure, be chased out of a position of trust or authority.

That you are, in fact, a left-wing fringe lunatic is a given with these people. If you weren't, they wouldn't worship and adore you. It is the exposure of your true nature to too many sane, rational people that brings about your downfall, as the only way to advance Moonbattery is to successfully hide what you are up to from the masses long enough to do great damage to American society, just as it is written in the Moonbat Bible, Saul Alinsky's Rules for Radicals.

Such is the case with Van Jones, the much lamented ex-Czar of "Green Jobs." Seven months into this mess of an administration, no one can point to a single job, green, orange, mauve, magenta, taupe or otherwise that this genius created with the $60 billion he was handed from the "stimulus" package, but no one on the left or in the media (but I repeat myself) seems to care about such trivialities.

Nope --- it's damage control time on Moonbattery's front lines! The more people they can keep from learning the real truth about Van Jones, the less damage that will be done to the movement and their precious Obama Administration.

So to listen to them, when they will even deign to discuss it all, the reason Van Jones got towed away to the scrapyard was all due to a "vicious smear campaign" conducted by Glenn Beck, talk radio and right-wing bloggers. It had nothing whatsoever to do with his being a 9/11 "Truther" loon, nor did it have to do with his being an avowed Communist, nor his being a founding member of the Marxist radical group STORM, nor his naming his newborn son after a Communist revolutionary in 2006, nor his advocacy of freeing notorious cop-killer and far-left radical Mumia Abu-Jamal (with whom he cut a rather disgusting album, incidentally), nor his belief in a conspiracy by "whitey" to poison blacks with industrial pollution, etc., etc., etc.

Nope, all smoke and mirrors, kiddies! The reasons for Van Jones downfall according to the left? He dared to call Republicans a$$h@les (which, of course, everyone knows is true) in a video that got splashed around on YouTube, compared former President George W. Bush to a "crackhead" in yet another YouTube moment, oh, and of course...

RACISM!!!

That's right, out comes the race card yet again. It really seems to be the only bullet left in their arsenal right now, doesn't it?

You know what else is attributed to racism by the left?

Any and all criticism of Barack Obama, his administration, his proposals, his policies, his past, his associates, the neckties he wears, the brand of shampoo he uses, his method of holding his fork while eating his waffles...

RACISM!!! RACISM!!! RACISM!!!

There is not one blessed thing on this earth that anyone could rationally disagree with this turkey or the rest of his witless drones about that would not get them labelled as "racists."

I bet you didn't even realize that the real reason you and I do not support Obama's health care plan is because we don't want poor black people and Hispanics to have free medical care. And here we were deluding ourselves into thinking it was because of the outrageous cost; the further over-empowerment of an already far too powerful government; the massive, crushing debt; the potential severe and permanent damage to the economy; the likelihood of an eventual end to all private insurance plans; the inevitable rationing of care; the unavoidable reduction of the overall quality of what is today the finest health care system in the entire world (not to mention a whole host of other very real concerns).

Nope, we're all just a bunch of racists.

Well, I don't know about you, but I've had it! The time has come for us, as the responsible adults in this political family, to take away junior's race card.

The race card is maxed out and you're not able to keep up with the payments anymore. You were warned time and again to only use it in a real emergency when real, actual racism was around and threatening to harm people, but instead you just kept whipping it out during every petty argument you ever got into with someone who didn't agree with your politics and kept on running up the bill. Well, enough is enough, children. You've been totally irresponsible with it and we're just not letting you use it anymore, so hand it over!



Now go to your room!

This Van Was a Real Clunker

[Click on image to enlarge]

Another Brick in the Head

EXCLUSIVE!

Thanks to anonymous sources, we here at America is an Obamanation! (and IMAO) have managed to get hold of a secret communique from Secretary of Education Arne Duncan to members of the teachers' union regarding the President's live address to our nation's school children this coming Tuesday:

Greetings, my fellow educators and indoctrination coordinators!

As I am certain you are well aware by now, a truly exciting day in the annals of history approaches, as our beloved President will address school children all over this quite plain and undistinguished nation on Tuesday, September 8th, to ask their help in moving this backward, bitter land of bible-clinging troglodytes forward into the glorious international collective of tomorrow.

I hope you are all as excited as I am by this new and hopeful day of change we can all believe in!

By now, you should have received your classroom kits and instructions on how to make this a true moment of insight and enlightenment for all of the good little progressives who have been entrusted to your care. Remember, our Dear Leader is counting on the cooperation of each and every one of you to help undo any damage that may have been inflicted on our poor, dear children by their awful, evil-mongering parental units during this excruciatingly long and painful summer. Thankfully, though, we have them back under our control now and with your hard work and commitment to our just and noble cause, I am quite certain that their young heads full of mush can still be molded into what our Great Society most needs --- conformist worker drones.

Be certain to engage the students in the Party approved activities before, during and after The Great One's sure-to-be awe-inspiring speech. It is imperative that we not miss this opportunity to drive home The Messiah's message to these impressionable young children, so they can begin helping us push our agenda on the American People while we still can.


Unfortunately, some students may not be as cooperative as we might hope. Luckily, there are proven methods of dealing with their misbehavior...

[Bart Simpson Chalkboard Generator]

Should that prove ineffective, there is no cause for alarm as we are including several bottles of our newest formula in your classroom kits!



Yours in Faithful "O"bedience,

Arne Duncan

United States Secretary of Education

BREAKING:
The Nose on Your Face has an exclusive copy of the original draft of the Dept. of Education's classroom activities sheet.

Guess Who is Guest Blogging Over at IMAO?

Go on, guess!

Okay, okay, I'll give you a hint...

It's me!

Well, I guess that was a pretty big hint, really.

Kind of gave it away entirely. I was never very good at this game.

Anyway, I am honored and humbled to be a part of one the greatest blogs on the whole worldwide interwebby thingy.

I will be over there for about a week and some change.

My first post is here for anyone that might care. More to come...

No One Respects the Obama Interrogation Policy

Our Chief Weapon is Surprise. That's It, Just Surprise.

*Rev. Right adds: Well, if surprise is ever deemed to be torture, there's always the "comfy chair!"

In Memorium...

Paging Dr. Obama, Dr. Reid, Dr. Pelosi...

Click on images for a closer look...

When Harry Met Thelma

Spinning Out of Control...

[Click on image for a closer look.]

A Prescription for Endless Nightmares...

********************

UPDATE 8/2/09:

Who is that masked man? Wonder no longer... THE MONSTER IS UNMASKED!

[As per usual, click on the image for a closer look.]

How Obama Sees the World

Remember when the left used to do this Reagan? Payback is a Hillary.

Click to Enlarge

Goodbye Cruel World! Obama's TelePrompTer™ Comes to an Untimely End. A Nation Mourns.

TelePrompTer™, 2007-2009

Obama's best friend and co-star throughout his Presidential run and subsequent rule of error came to an untimely end during a press conference yesterday.

Following the incident, federal authorities immediately sealed TelePrompTer™'s White House office, pending further investigation.

"It's always troubling when someone this close to the President of the United States dies so suddenly and unexpectedly," read a brief statement issued by White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. "Our thoughts and prayers are with his family."

The President was said to be at a loss for words.

According to sources, the cause of death has been ruled accidental. The coroner reportedly called it severe trauma from a fall resulting from a long-term overdose of bullsh*t.

The Vice-TOTUS was sworn in shortly after he was notified of his predecessor's passing (reportedly by his father on the family bible) so as not to in any way disrupt the chain of command in the American government.

Below is graphic video/audio of TelePrompTer™'s sad demise. Be warned, it is not for the faint of heart



The Hollywood community was especially hard hit by this tragedy, as TelePrompTer™ had won wide acclaim for his moving portrayal of a gay cowboy in Barack BackMouthin' earlier this year and had just finished work on the new Batman sequel, in which his turn as the Joker is said to have been nothing short of electrifying.



And the President, once again, is said to have been "a natural" in his co-starring role...



Plans for a memorial service are still pending, but the TOTUS is expected to be lying in state in the Rotunda at the Capitol before the end of the week.

ELEPHANT MAN'S ESTATE MAKES BID TO PURCHASE JACKO'S REMAINS

Shortly after the conclusion of the Michael Jackson Memorial Service Spectacular yesterday, representatives of Joseph Merrick's estate contacted Jackson Family lawyers with an offer to purchase the Gloved One's remains for the sum of $1 million.

While admitting they were tempted by the offer, which would have helped (ever so slightly) to offset the massive debt left behind by the King of Pop, the family declined, saying instead that plans were now in the works for a lucrative new World Tour for Jackson's corpse. Sources now say he is to be reanimated by the same "Imagineers" for the Disney theme parks responsible for the Hall of Presidents attraction.

"They're really planning a stunning show," said an anonymous tipster. "He's going to be decked out just as he was for the zombie dance scene in the Thriller video, and after a few weeks, they'll even be able save a ton of money because he won't need the make-up anymore! I can hardly wait for the rehearsals to start!"

No word yet on the opening act, though rumors have been flying about unusual activity near the grave of Elvis Presley at Graceland Mansion. Stay tuned!

THE LORD OF THE LEFT WING - Part I

by Erik Nolt, Jr.

BOOK I - THE FELONSHIP OF THE QUISLINGS

This story is largely concerned with habits... bad voting habits... and from its paragraphs a reader may (with any luck) discover much of their own character and a little of their own history.

CHAPTER I: A Long, Expensive Party

Long ago, in the eastern region of Morpork, there dwelt in the fiery depths of Mount Dumb in the heart of the ancient city of Wasting-Tons, a great and powerful evil necromancer known as Lord Soros. It was here within his evil volcano lair that he set about a plot to take over all of the once proud land of Belittled Worth.

Map of Belittled Worth [Click on map for a closer look]

To accomplish this end, he needed an army --- An army of mindless dolts who would bend easily to his will and would not be tempted by conscience to stray from his mission of darkness. And so it was that he constructed his own soldiers by fusing the DNA of several lowly creatures, each selectively bred for the worst of their traits.

The Eye of Soros

He began, appropriately enough, with demons, selected for their lack of morals and pure wickedness, as well as their slyness and ability to easily possess the souls of mortal men and to tempt them into evil deeds with their glib tongues.

Next, he selected the orcs, twisted, ugly and fierce warriors capable of great cruelty.

Then, common sewer rats, cunning and sneaky and adept at spreading pestilence and disease, and laying waste to whole cities.

Finally, he threw in the essence of ticks, parasitic blood-sucking insects, as a final touch.

To celebrate the birth of this new lifeform, the evil Lord Soros threw a party in their honor, a party so infamous for its immense cost, sheer excess and unbridled debauchery, the mere mention of it will forever fill good men with the urge to vomit... and so it was that the Demon-Orc-Rat-Tick Party was born... and continues to this very day... and all of us have been stuck with the bill!

Blarney Fink (D - Massahugedebts)

Over the years, even as the endless celebration of all things wicked and depraved continued unabated, some folks shortened the name of this nightmarish cauldron of malevolence to the "Democrat" Party. Many of its witless worshipers, however, insisted on the more formal "Democratic" Party, arguing that the former ignored the blood-sucking parasite portion of their ancestry, something of which they were, surprisingly enough, quite proud. To this day, there are those that continue to try, stubbornly, to drop that pesky last syllable in spite of the protests, but find, much to their chagrin, that you can never quite manage to get the "ic" out of the Democratic Party.

To be continued...

You Got Served!

Have it HIS way: No bread and no (way to ever) ketchup!

[Click on image for a closer look]

(All apologies to BK and Mickey D's!)

A New Game in Town

[Click on image for closer view.]

The object of the game is to destroy American capitalism by having the government take over everything!

Tokens include a bus, a teleprompter, a sprig of arugula and a waffle iron.

Wanna play? No??? Too bad, you're already playing... and quite frankly, in this game, nobody wins!

********************
UPDATE:

OOPS!

I inadvertently flipped the "Income Tax" and "CNN" squares on the original board. Eagle eye award to the Great Harvey Olson of IMAO and Bad Example fame for the heads up. It has been now been corrected. (I can't believe I did that!)

Briefings? What Briefings???

[Click the image for a closer look]

The Real Reason Behind the Low-Level Statue of Liberty Fly-By Finally Revealed!

********************

UPDATE!

More shocking revelations about the Scare Force One "Photo Op."

********************

UPDATE #2:

More Scare Force One photos have been leaked!

LEAKED PHOTO ONE
LEAKED PHOTO TWO

Save the Polar Bears, Save the World

by Al Gore

My fellow Americans, I would like to take this opportunity to wish each and every one of you (except those of you in Florida) a happy Earth Day!

As you know, our planet is quickly dying. Burning to a crisp, a charred ball of cinderous ashes hanging silently in space, due to cow flatulence, S.U.V.'s and hair care products. We can still save it, but we must act together and we must act now!

Think about it. What will you tell your grandchildren some day in the not too distant future, when we're all dead and they are never born because you couldn't turn down your thermostat, walk those few measly miles to and from the grocery store with your arms full of heavy grocery bags, and eat delicious meals of tofu and bean curd instead of meat and animal byproducts? What will you say to them then?

Nothing. Because we'll all be dead and they will never have been born.

But it need not happen!

Today, I am announcing a new initiative to save this planet from an untimely end. Several months ago, I came up with an idea to save one of nature's most precious natural resources: the polar bear.

As you know, these majestic and beautiful creatures are dying out due to the cruel destruction of their habitat by man-made global warming. They are running out of sea ice at the North Pole, which will be completely ice-free within the next few years. As a result, the polar bears are plunging into the sea and, since they are unable to swim, they are drowning at the rate of hundreds each day!

To put an end to this senseless tragedy, a team of scientists and myself developed a new life vest designed especially for polar bears! It is called the "Wildlife Saver."

To put our plan into action, a team of volunteers and myself set out with a small documentary film crew to fit as many of the bears as we could manage with these miraculous new life saving vests.

It was a grueling adventure. At one point, my boat began taking on water and I had to try to bail it out as best I could before the film crew and I were tossed into the sea! As you can see from the picture below, captured by one of the volunteers in a nearby boat, it was quite a harrowing moment!



Unfortunately, my heroic efforts were less than successful. I had to be taken aboard the other boat while the film crew was left to be scalded to death in the nearly boiling hot waters of the Arctic Ocean! It was a terrible moment. After all the months of planning, there we were at the North Pole without a film crew. When that boat sank, so did my heart, for with it went any chance of another Oscar! Oh, well.

Soldiering on, the rest of the volunteers and I did manage to find some polar bears, and almost a dozen of those brave souls lost their lives trying to get the new vests on just a small handful of the bears.



But I would dare say even they believe it was well worth it!

Sadly, we can't do it alone. We need more money and, of course, more brave volunteers.

Every minute that goes by, another of these majestic creatures is lost to the sea forever.

Please help us today by joining up for the next rescue mission, or sending a generous donation made payable to me, Al Gore.

Thank you, and may Mother Gaia bless and keep us all.



A special thanks to this guy.

DHS Unveils New Seal and Threat Table

Dear Citizens,

In light of recent revelations regarding the true nature of the threats to our way of life made clear in a recent report, we at the Department of Homeland Security have decided to change our focus from foreign terrorists to a menace of a decidedly more domestic nature. As a result, we felt some changes were in order.

First, there was the matter of our official seal.



As you can see, it was not very politically correct. It looked far too warlike and menacing with that eagle, shield and arrows. Instead, we have had it redesigned to a much more friendly symbol, as seen below.

Updated Seal...



The beautiful little endangered Orwellian Fruit Bat was chosen by the Sierra Club and helps call attention to the plight of our delicate ecosystem. The moon symbolizes our vigilance to protect our wonderful new government, even in the dark of night, from those that would seek to undermine it. We have added a small yellow design of no real significance, which I am assured is an international symbol of peace and friendship. We have even incorporated the Obama campaign seal, a symbol that has come to be seen by millions as a beacon of hope and change.

We hope this new seal will help all newcomers crossing our borders feel more at ease in our country. (A reminder to our new arrivals: Please register to vote at the nearest ACORN office or local Department of Motor Vehicles. Coloqúese por favor para votar en la oficina más cercana de la ACORN o el departamento local de vehículos de motor.)

While the new Administration may no longer feel threatened by the masses of undocumented future Democrats crossing our borders in unknown numbers or the many worshippers of the great and peaceful faith of Islam who may sometimes accompany them, we do feel there are, unfortunately, much more sinister threats staring all of us in the face... Conservatism and Libertarianism!

I wish to reassure all Politically-Correct Americans, that every possible step is being taken to protect our newly acquired power from the grasp of this creeping evil, but we must remain ever-vigilant, or a non-liberal Democrat may win an elected office in your area at sometime in the near future. To aid in our joint struggle against these extremists, we have updated the color-alert system developed by the previous administration and will be issuing advisories along with specifics about any known threats such as VFW meetings, future "Tea Parties" or Republicans shown within striking distance in any election poll.

Right now, we remain at Threat Level Yellow, though please be advised that Fox News, talk radio and right wing blogs are considered to be at Threat Level Orange!

Updated Threat Table...



As part of our efforts to warn the public about all possible threats to our New Age of Hope and Change, we have also created this Official Website Content Warning Badge, which all websites that contain politically objectionable content will be asked to display...



Compliance will be voluntary, at first, and then, much like the President's new GIVE Act, it will be made a mandatory sort of voluntary in the near future!

Those of you who have websites which feature politically incorrect thought, are asked to display one of the following badges in your sidebar...

230x230 Sidebar Version:



190x190 Sidebar Version:



Please link all badges back to this post and let us know you are in full compliance with the law by trackback, comment and/or email with a link to the blog(s) on which it is being displayed. Blogroll will be forthcoming, and DHS will begin monitoring all activities of those posting to, commenting on, or visiting these sites. Thank you for your cooperation.

Sincerely,

Secretary Janet "Nappy" Napolitano
U.S. Department of Homeland Security and Political Correctness Enforcement

p.s.,

Be certain to keep an eye on this individual, as he is clearly one of the most dangerous radicals of all!

********************

Links to this post (Thanks!):

The Jawa Report
Argghhh!!!
Nice Deb
Public Secrets
Don Surber
Pirate's Cove
The Mudville Gazette
Quattroworld Forums
Ironic Surrealism
HolyCoast.com
Many Faces of Barack
Moonbattery
The Conservative Dominion
Wildfire Discussion Board
Alamo City Pundit
theblogprof
Basti Says
The Patriotic Mind
Tired N Retired
IMAO
Myopenforum
Grandma's House
Stop the ACLU
Right Wing News
Pirate's Cove (Again)

Blogs in compliance with displaying their sidebar warning badges:

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Tired N Retired

From the Creators of "A Nightmare on Pennsylvania Avenue"...

[Click to enlarge]